Ignorance is bliss, they say. It’s also sexy and trendy. For years rappers have bragged about being illiterate while eating money on camera. Add to this boxers, Hollywood screen writers, NASCAR fans, and now politicians. Our game show host President has even broken precedent, according to those few not currently posting Flat Earth videos on Youboob. As Kanye once put it, “I’m a proud non-reader of books.” Examine that statement. One word sticks out: proud. Yes, there is pride, and not just bliss, here. Add to that money and fame. You too can be a god by burning any books you do come in contact with…go now to whatever reading materials you find, light a match, and bring them to 451 degrees of separation from you. You will be happier, and richer for it! Why waste time and money reading anything, anyway, when there is Spectrum and Directv and NetFlix? (By the way, Flix is a Catalonian town in Spain with a controversial chemical plant containing toxic waste.) Still reading? Stop it! That’s a direct order from Directv. By the way, did you know that not only doesn’t Trump read, but his neighbor in Palm Beach—James Patterson—can’t write. That’s right, folks. He doesn’t write, he “co-writes.” Translation: he employs dozens of little known writers to do the work while he serves High Tea to bookstore owners and the press. In fact, one of the few top writers who actually writes—Stephen King—was target for him in a co-authored title, “The Murder of Stephen King,” cancelled at the last moment due to fear of IT. (Whatever “it” is.) What’s the moral of this story? I don’t know. What’s “moral” mean? It has been expunged from the Pictionary. All we know for sure is that the apes are winning, along with the Chinese. Time to go see The Emoji Movie. No, wait. That’s next week. Okay, how about Deplorable Me III?
In other McNews: NEN has learned that trucks reportedly carrying bombs actually contain props for a new game show to be unleashed on unsuspecting Americans called WANNABE ZOMBIES. “These are crazed contestants who believe in the radical religion of celebrity so much that they are willing to do anything,” claims producer Mark Burnette, “including being injected with virus memes and becoming vampires and zombies.” We were unable to obtain the details about how this was accomplished, except that the contestants are all out-of-work TV addicts being cut from unemployment benefit roles (to build more bombs.) In the meantime, huckster game show hosts continue their unrelenting assault on sanity, claiming God or the Almighty Dollar (et. al.) are the best blinders to wear while singing, “if that’s all there is, my friend, then let’s keep dancing. . .”
