Does Taylor Swift Deserve an Oscar?



North Korea

In other McNews, Trump, according to the NY Times, is playing into the hands Kim Jong-un (by the way, congrats to Jong boy, he just surpassed Kim Kardashian in number of searches.) The reasoning goes that Trump is just like Kim, pandering to his audience and inciting fear of “the other side” in this Dr. Doom game. (By the way, watch “The Other Guys” movie: hilarious take on advertising and one-upsmanship.) Both can fire up their fans with ballistic rhetoric. Both are cowards, too. Hey, I’m not the one saying it. Okay, not alone. When has either of these clowns actually sacrificed anything? Kim is a grinning despot, madder than the Hatter, and Trump is a former game show host whose favorite book is “The Art of War,” along with his own books, which were “dictated” and ghost written (shades of Ghost Hunters or James Patterson, who lives near Trump in another mansion.) Both surround themselves with loyal minions and relatives and military generals. Disagree with Trump and “you’re fired.” Disagree with Kim and it’s the firing squad. Trump is “very, very” good at what he does. Just listen to him saying this. He plays to uneducated people as his base, and they have hunkered down inside this bunker, lobbing verbal grenades at anyone who disagrees. Tweets and Instagram posts and Youtube videos. Kaboom! Kaboom! Ka-Doom! The reason he adds “very, very” to everything is because his vocabulary is limited. Look what I found while looking up the definition of “very:” “Past participles that have become established as adjectives can, like most English adjectives, be modified by the adverb very:  a very driven person; we were very concerned for your safety.  Very does not modify past participles that are clearly verbal; for example, The lid was very sealed is not an idiomatic construction, while The lid was very tightly sealed is. Sometimes confusion arises over whether a given past participle is adjectival and thus able to be modified by very without an intervening adverb. However, there is rarely any objection to the use of this intervening adverb, no matter how the past participle is functioning. Such use often occurs in edited writing:  We were very much relieved to find the children asleep. They were very greatly excited by the news. I feel very badly cheated.”  Coffee Party? Time to wake up. What’s really wrong with the world is that here are too many “marketing geniuses” and too little quality content. We should be telling Kim that he can star in the next Hollywood blockbuster: Emoji Movie 2: Rise of the North Koreans. That would “blow up” his mind while scoring one for the Lipper.  

Very Man

VERY MAN in an alternate universe.

Glutenberg Bible Discovered

Glutenberg Bible
Glutenberg Bible

Discovered at a library near the archeological site in Israel near where Jesus fed five thousand people with seven loaves of bread, a Glutenberg Bible just discovered is being described as, “almost identical to the mid-19th Century text, except there is no mention of wheat. Instead, there is substituted ‘rice flour’ or ‘corn meal.’ So it’s really the same Bible, only gluten free. Manna from heaven is made from amaranth and quinoa, not wheat. And the reference of separating the ‘tares from the wheat’ actually refers to buckwheat, which isn’t wheat at all. Oh, and there’s a recipe in the back on how to make low calorie beer without the use of wheat or hops. I guess this means that all those portly TV preachers and priests have been doing it wrong all these years, and may be in for a surprise come Judgment Day.”
Hosea 7:4) “They are all adulterers, like a heated oven whose baker ceases to stir the fire, from the kneading of the dough until it is leavened.”
Ezekiel 4:15) Then He said to me, “See, I assign to you cow’s dung instead of human dung, on which you may prepare your bread.”
Leviticus 7:13) “With the sacrifice of his peace offerings for thanksgiving he shall bring his offering with loaves of cornbread.”
Genesis 18:6) And Abraham went quickly into the tent to Sarah and said, “Quick! Three seahs of fine dark flour! Knead it, and make buckwheat pancakes!”
Genesis 19:1) The two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he (censored.)

Nicholas Cage

North Korea