Fistery Channel: The Roman Colosseum Inspired Modern Sports Coliseums

2022 Olympics
Despite widespread gunfire and social breakdown in Rio, others DO want to host the Olympics. Including Los Angeles. At a high pricetag for an event that has lost billions for everyone hosting IT. Grand Theft Auto Los Angeles for real? “The Games Must Go On!”

New archeological evidence proves that the modern NFL and NHL, as well as NASCAR, began on the floor of Rome’s Colosseum when gladiators sliced and diced each other into bite sized chunks for Growl Mix. That’s the first canned cat (ie. lion) food—while chariots raced around in circles lopping off the heads of anyone who didn’t follow the games. “We all suspected this was true,” says Dr. Alfred Zimmer of the Archeological Society and the IOC, “but we now know from genetic evidence too that ancient and medieval societies live on today in the guise of national sports programs. Not only does this explain the painted faces, the stampedes and riots, and innumerable bar brawls, but it explains the girl you overhear crying on her cell phone as she sobs, ‘You never listen, you’re too busy watching Apple TV…and now what…you’re just going to walk away? That’s typical. I’m just a game to you, and after you score, you change the channel, you stupid, heartless son of a bleep.’” Next up, the connection between tailgate parties and togo parties.

sports atheistDied You Know) Osama bin Laden was a SOCCER and VOLLEYBALL fan. Hitler loved TRACK AND FIELD, particularly JAVALIN THROWING. Attila the Hun loved FENCING and LAWN DARTS. They were all vicious killers. What’s your excuse?Walter Witty


Will Smith…he loves football, but thinks the game needs a reality check. What do you think?Will Smith

Footnote) Do you have an opinion? No one really cares. Maybe not even your spouse or child. If you’ve just won the Powerball, they will care. A lot. Barring this extreme event, however, you’re pretty much on your own. People believe what they want to believe, mostly. It’s called “Confirmation bias.” The facts really don’t matter. More important, we are told, is body language, social skills, looks, and fitness. Yes, that’s right. Physical fitness. Not mental fitness. If you are a highly educated genius with a 66 pack brain, but look like a slob (or you picked the wrong tie during a bad hair day), people are more likely to believe the sharply dressed Flat Earther or History Channel executive with 6 pack abs. The exception to this is the CEO of Crossfit, who does look like a slob, and couldn’t dress a zombie. But again, that’s the Powerball side of the equation. If you’re rich, short, and bald (but rich) many women will fawn all over you. Some men, too. Research shows that being rich increases the perception of anyone. Take the tech guy at the Apple Event, who came out wearing a wrinkled shirt pulled out of his jeans on purpose. You’re selling very expensive products with high precision and beauty, yet you come out on stage dressed like a homeless guy? That’s a psychological ploy working on a subliminal level: you don’t want to audience to think you believe you’re superior. You want them to think you’re one of them…which you aren’t, because not only aren’t you homeless, but you drive a Maserati. Regarding the bald thing, we tend to believe that bald men are smarter, especially if they have big eyes and small noses. (Source: Riveted by Jim Davies) This is because of the Greys. Not the 50 Shades of Grey guy, but the little shiny guys who abduct people and probe them. Hairless, big eyes, small noses and mouths. It was an invention for a movie, but the image of the Greys haunt people to this day. UFO alien sightings usually describe Greys, although there is absolutely no reason to believe aliens would look like that, in addition to it being a total fabrication in Hollywood. (Aliens are more likely to be machines, as in 2001.) And so we come back to Confirmation Bias. That’s the very human instinct to seek out evidence that supports opinions one already has, while ignoring all evidence to the contrary. If there’s a zombie virus in America, this is IT. But of course that’s Stephen King’s story.




Edge of the Earth Found!


From The New York Times: “To say that Texans love football would be an understatement. Texans love football the way Johnny loved June. Texans love football the way Donald Trump loves his hair. Texans love football the way Kanye West loves Kanye West. The religious-like attendance at high school football games all across Texas is a testament to our devotion to the sport. The passion can get even more intense the further you get from the city. When traveling through small-town Texas on a Friday night in the Fall, it’s liable to seem like a ghost town unless you happen to pass the stadium, and the only stations you’ll get out in the boonies will be gospel, country and broadcasts of high school football games.”

flat earth theory

In Flat Earth City,
it’s oh so pretty,
and the mayor there is nice.
He has such wisdom,
you’ll know his system
and never call it Vice.
Go right, go test, go east or west
young man you’re on a roll…
you’ll learn the things fat ladies sing
at cost, your very soul.
Now don’t you snicker, for here’s the kicker:
your treasure map awaits!
No up, no down, to earn this crown:
you master all the fates.
Just one more thing to get your ring,
you need obey the rules:
the physics of the gritty city
is never kind to fools.



Solar EclipseThis just in: the sun appeared in the sky above Washington DC last night for two minutes in a brilliant fireball that, oddly, didn’t cast any shadows or awaken any politicians. Says NASA scientist Ryback Solomon: “It’s a mystery. I’m consulting with Neil deGrasse Tyson right now, and will have his opinion soon, but my theory is that something Supernatural is at work here. I know this is blasphemy and may consign me to teaching assistant hell, but I now believe that there are so many shadowy figures in Washington that demons outnumber angels of mercy, so this was a sign. Signs and wonders happen here every day. And night. Go figure.” Goldman Sachs is investigating, and calculating the odds that Trump will survive long enough for everyone in the firm to become a billionaire. Stay doomed for more.

Breaking News

Horror Movies
Children of the Corn, many of them, are going to Afghanistan to fight a possible 30 year war already costing many lives (but not the Super Rich) plus over $2 Trillion so far.


ABC: Animal Broadcasting Corporation

geneticsAnd what would that be: the Umbrella Corporation? No, how about animal rescue and news about animals being slaughtered (including dogs.) Creatures being saved from being skinning alive for furs, electrocuted for Electoral College votes, and kicked or pitch-forked by slaughterhouse workers because cameras are not allowed inside, and no local or national TV news crew will ever follow up on reports, like one in which Brown meats caused the shutdown of a middle school due to a “horrid smell.” (Their spokesman came out to say, “We’ll use a different chemical next time,” and that was enough for reporters. No “what caused the smell?” or “what kind of chemicals are you using on kids?” Don’t ask, don’t tell. They slaughter lambs. Silence of the Lambs?) Interesting facts: 1) people love bacon, and The Baconator is advertised as something you should want to eat. But pigs are as intelligent as dogs, and are sensitive to abuse, which they receive in tight pens causing sores, or are bashed against the wall and left to die covered in flies. By the thousands. 2) Cows are sacred in India, while people think nothing of eating Lassie or Fido in parts of Asia. 3) Meat consumption is highest in the good old USA, as is Alzheimers and dementia, caused by too much iron and protein. (Read The Mind Span Diet by a genetics researcher at Harvard, whose team discovered that in places like Japan and China and Italy, where “iron fortified” or “enriched” does not appear, and people eat less meat, there is far less dementia and heart disease.) 4) Our dogs eat better than our kids. Dog food is touted as “grain free” (free range beef or lamb or chicken) while kids beg their parents to take them to McDonalds due to endless ads and cute toys and the Hamburglar robbing their futures. Those animals either never see the light of day (chickens, except on the way to slaughterhouses), or beef patties (ground together from over a hundred animals which are fed grain by 95% of fast food end games.) The meat is less healthy, too, because it has far fewer nutrients than grass fed. Add to this Coke, which turns good fats bad, and you have a recipe the pharmaceutical giants love most: higher profits for their already rich stockholders snorting coke on their yachts. 5) Hey, it’s a cruel world, buyer beware? The buyer is lied to, spied on, and doesn’t read anything but Tweets. Here’s a question for anyone asking that: “Are you a sociopath? Maybe defect to North Korea and join the herd of fellow Brandwashed lemmings?” Sure, Kim will serve barbecued dissidents for you. While laughing. 6) The Coffee Party. Think about it. A third party which does exist, but nobody talks about. What are they about? Talking, finding solutions, moving forward, not back to the Dark Ages, where ISIS and the Flat Earth Society live. Why? Because, although in any food fight (or nuclear conflict) there are never more than two sides on the killing fields, it’s time to WAKE UP. (…Of course the NFL Dioceses doesn’t care, they are busy discussing plays and “wins,” not soon-to-be Walking Dead brain concussions. “Let the games begin! But first, let us prey.” Insert overflying military jets over budget by billions, and obsolete.) By the way, did you know that light roast coffee is 20 times better for you than dark roast? I didn’t, until I read The Coffee Lovers Diet, by a former science correspondent for a major network. Dark roast beans contain carcinogens from being burnt, and less antioxidants. Been drinking the stuff or years. And used to listen to Rush Limbaugh too, drinking his Kool-aid. Huh. Learn something every day. Live and learn.
food pornABC: “This just in. Sunny skies over Cleveland today, as a SWAT team burst into the home of Willard Webber, a 50 year old college dropout hooked on crack and jelly beans. Twenty-two abused animals were given fresh air for the first time in years, freed from the hellish smells and body odors emanating from Willard’s bedroom, and the cages. Dogs, cats, snakes, an ocelot, a monkey, and a tattooed potbellied pet pig named Tootsie were resuscitated, fed, watered, and bathed. Their eyes have lost the lost look, and now shine with promise, hope. …Something the Soup Nazi at a Virginia soup kitchen is against, shouting ‘No Hope for you!’”

social media

Monday. You need motivation, right?