This just in: Darth was upset when his ambulance overbilled him $18,000 after an asthma attack. The ambulance was driven by a Sith Lord named Disick who took the scenic route at the standing orders of Lord Barron Trillionaire, and so Darth sought out and strangled the “insidious slime” after reading a tweet about the bill, saying HE should be an exception, as are all high brass in the Empire. Darth then looked into overbilling of the Empire by a secret society of med techs living in caves on Alderan. They mail letter bombs to anyone getting close to the truth, and also send embarrassing data to WookieLeaks. Darth is currently trying to find Barron Trillionaire, but the Barron has never been shot down by any Tie fighter, although there were a few ties. And lies. Stay doomed, brokes! More ahead.
THIS JUST IN: Darth called and said he just read “Small is the New Big,” and is philosophy has changed from “more is more” to “less is more.” He’s giving up living in Palm Beach and has moved into a cabin with the Unabomber…after freeing him from Supermax prison in Colorado…with a light saber.