THE SHELFIE SONG

SELFIES

 

When Jason’s at my table
he looks at other bugs too, ya know.
Ya think he just doin’ it ta make me jealous?
‘Cause he, like, textin’ me booty all night, y’all.
So, like, what ya think? Take a fall? Wink, wink?
That other bug pretty?
How’d she even crawl in here?
Ya see her sneer? Wanna jump her?
She’s so short, an’ tacky wacky.
Who wears “Cheat Her?” Jeter?
Can we go to the bug room,
watch’em smoke dope on a rope with the Pope?
I really need some MY time, some EYE time.
But first, let me take a Shelfie.
.
Can u dudes, like, help me pick some shades?
I dunno if I should, like, go with a Pro.
I wanna look like I been MADE!
What would capture my essence?
I want it to be, like, forever. Like never.
How about “bitchin’ with my witches,”
I got, like, 10 likes in duh last 6 seconds.
Do ya think I should, like, read a book
on a Nook?
‘Cause FaceOn just liked my Kindle
Not my iPhone 8 or P-Diddily iMingle.
That bug over there such a faker
Wants ta tangle, den acts like a Quaker!
She bought all her InstaJam followers
But who would, like, come outta duh woodwork
to swallow her?
Okay, les go take some shots on the rocks.
Jump an’ bump, hop an’ scotch.
Oh my god, bugger jus’ texted me
Wants ta, like, hit the books,
take a Shelfie. What do I say?
“Okay?”