Trump to Hire DC Comics to Fight Press


Trump doesn’t just read comic books. Here are other favorites (he says), besides his own books (dictated to co-writers.)

  1. THE ART OF WAR by Sun Tzu
  2. THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING by Norman Vincent Peale
  3. ESSAYS by Ralph Waldo Emerson
  4. THE PRINCE by Machiavelli
  5. IDEAS and OPINIONS by Einstein (know thine enemy?)
  6. THE PARTY (The Secret World of China’s Communist Leaders)
  7. ON CHINA by Henry Kissinger
  8. MAO: The Untold Story by Jung Chang
  9. TIDE PLAYERS by Jianying Zha
  10. ONE BILLION CUSTOMERS by James Mcgregor
  11. junk food

Does Kendall Jenner Believe Earth is Flat?

Kendall Jenner

The Answer is HERE.

In other McNews, Olympic Committee to Add Competitive Eating
Since the fastest growing sport in America is competitive eating, the international Olympic committee is considering the possibility of adding the sport to its schedule. The only thing left to work out now by the selection committee is which food to include first. Among the contenders are hot dogs, hamburger patties, french fries, meatballs, pies, donuts, donut holes, Twinkies, and snails. “We really favor foods with the word ball in it, since this actually sounds like a sport,” confessed Dimitry Syvanovich, “although Matzo balls are out.” The International Federation of Competitive Eating is steering the endeavor, promising funding by PepsiCo and Alka Seltzer. When asked if this might send the wrong message to a starving world of (now) seven billion soda drinkers, Syvanovich replied, “most of those people don’t own televisions yet, and besides. . .I, ah. . .don’t understand the question.” In related news, considering how often commentators and announcers use the words “it’s more than just a game,” the Supreme Court has finally ordered the IRS to classify certain sports as religions. Tax exempt status will first be granted to the NFL and NBA Dioceses, to be followed shortly by the Supreme Churches of the PGA, NHL, MLB and NASCAR. Asked what this may mean for a soon to collapse U.S. economy, newly positioned Chiefs Justice “Lefty” Bomgardner replied, “We didn’t consider that, we just want the highest laws in the land to reflect what is actually happening in America…bubbles of all kinds bursting.” Citing a similar ruling made prior to the Fall of Rome, regarding the worship of Coliseum stars, Bomgardner pointed out that churches in America now consist of high-tech sports bars equipped with multiple wide-screen HDTVs, open on Sunday. “Worshipers maintain altars at home, too, for ritual sacrifices of lamb, steer, and chicken. They also dress in holy garments fanatically displaying only the proper colors for ceremonial penitence. Far, far more time is consumed in these religions than for traditional faiths. . .except maybe in Iran.” When asked about an escalation of lost production in the American workplace due to water cooler sports banter, Lefty replied, “Hey, the financial gurus on CNBC talk about sports on their money shows, even before telling you Wal Mart is laying off twenty thousand more workers!”



cancer causing

soda wars
“Made with Real Lemons.” (Plus 97% water and High Fructose Corn Syrup)
drinking competition
“I’m in training for the ISDC or International Soda drinking competition.”
Another tragic soda victim living on borrowed time…