Glutenberg Bible Discovered

Glutenberg Bible
Glutenberg Bible

Discovered at a library near the archeological site in Israel near where Jesus fed five thousand people with seven loaves of bread, a Glutenberg Bible just discovered is being described as, “almost identical to the mid-19th Century text, except there is no mention of wheat. Instead, there is substituted ‘rice flour’ or ‘corn meal.’ So it’s really the same Bible, only gluten free. Manna from heaven is made from amaranth and quinoa, not wheat. And the reference of separating the ‘tares from the wheat’ actually refers to buckwheat, which isn’t wheat at all. Oh, and there’s a recipe in the back on how to make low calorie beer without the use of wheat or hops. I guess this means that all those portly TV preachers and priests have been doing it wrong all these years, and may be in for a surprise come Judgment Day.”
Hosea 7:4) “They are all adulterers, like a heated oven whose baker ceases to stir the fire, from the kneading of the dough until it is leavened.”
Ezekiel 4:15) Then He said to me, “See, I assign to you cow’s dung instead of human dung, on which you may prepare your bread.”
Leviticus 7:13) “With the sacrifice of his peace offerings for thanksgiving he shall bring his offering with loaves of cornbread.”
Genesis 18:6) And Abraham went quickly into the tent to Sarah and said, “Quick! Three seahs of fine dark flour! Knead it, and make buckwheat pancakes!”
Genesis 19:1) The two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he (censored.)

Nicholas Cage

North Korea



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