LEAN IN, Sweet Sherliot

Once upon a time little Lucy and little Lloyd were playing in the living room. Lucy got a doll house, and Lloyd got a toy tank. When they got to school, Lucy was heckled about how she dressed, and so became interested in fashion and makeup. Lloyd was shoved in the alley, and learned how to fight with brass knuckles. Now Lucy was always told, (everywhere she went), that she needed to lean on a man for security, and so finding the right one, (with the right prospects), was very important. Meanwhile, Lloyd was told he’d better learn to lean the right way or he’ll lose his teeth, and so he came to lean on people who got in his way. In the end Lucy married a rich man and moved into a nice suburban home with an SUV to drive around the little tykes she thought she needed to fulfill her destiny, while Lloyd took his tank to the bank on Wall Street, where he blew up both clients and competitors by making complex and strategic investments against their best interests while leaning on politicians to come through for him (after passing donations to campaigns under the table.) …Now you have the backstory of American culture. Enter Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer, with a new book and a profile on 60 Minutes, saying that women can (and should) become leaders like the 96% of Fortune 500 CEOs (who are men.) Questions: should women want to “have it all” like she does? What would that mean, and what does success mean? Women have recently fought to go into the front lines of combat, and have accordingly been granted this “privilege.” But is it a good thing to die in futile and expensive wars perpetrated by fat cat Generals who sit on ergonomically engineered Captain’s chairs while munching on pork rinds? Is it a good thing to be able to lie to your customers and sales force in order to sell more tainted drugs (or the company’s stock) in order to be a bigger and better “success?” Women are even now sitting on the front row at cage fighting events, trying to beat down the feminine instincts that have been instilled in them for generations. NEN would like to say that women shouldn’t envy men, or try to emulate them. If the world were all men, after all, the human race would now be extinct…and not just for the obvious reason. The second reason is that men are taught to compete and kill (on the killing fields, or symbolically in sports), and not to cooperate. So we would have nuked the planet, leaving it for the rise of the machines. And we will be doing so sooner than expected if women become like men. Sandberg is not saying that women should abandon femininity and sensitivity, but some of her followers are not getting this message, and what some take from it is to be more like men. But do you really want climb up on the tank, and level the competition, “ladies?” Do you see the word “bitch” as men see “bastard” (ie. something to put on a resume)? Besides this, where’s our protection instinct when women are outwardly as cruel as a lineman going for an opponent’s bum knee? We’ll nuke each other out of frustration, as suicide…unless you can somehow get in control and calm us down… Or is that the plan? Maybe there’s a drug you have in mind. Maybe– …No, wait. Now I sound like that clown on UFO Hunters. Anyway, just think about it. Do you really want to look like one of those powerful men in the funny hats at the Vatican? (By the way, the next Pope will be chosen by the Arizona Cardinals in a secret game that will be played at midnight at Sun Devil stadium in Phoenix, sponsored by Cardinal Shower Enclosures.)

Terrorists Target Sports Stadiums

That’s right, al Qaeda now has new targets, since they’ve already destabilized American banks and killed our capacity to produce products other than bullets, coffin nails, and diabetes water for world markets. Their reasoning is that they need to attack us where it hurts most, and that is our religious institutions—the NFL and NBA Dioceses, along with our national church run by His Holiness, the Supreme High Commissioner of Baseball. “It’s an all-out religious war,” reports Ryback Solomon, “with fatwas shooting back and forth like bobsleds over thin ice.” Several stadiums have already been hit by SCUD missiles, like the University of Arizona’s McHale Center, and Soldier Field. In the meantime, acolytes are being urged to worship at home, consuming their ritual sacrifices of lamb, steer, and chicken in front of video shrines. “You can still paint your faces and rock back and forth as you pray,” says Ryback, “just send your offering directly by mail to Directv Prime Ticket or ESPN.”

FACEBOOK is Watching You

Imagine visiting Facebook and telling someone that your cat ate a bowl of bad chili that you’d left out by mistake for two days, and was poisoned. Then you send an email to someone, while logged into Google, about how much you oppose Obamacare, and although you don’t believe Obama is Satan like your neighbor Rambo, you believe that many people would like to “do away with him” by “killing his chances in November.” Next, you purchase tickets to one of his fundraising appearances, using your Master Card. What do you think will happen when you arrive and present your ticket for entry at the event? That’s right. You might be strip searched. Between you and the punch bowl are two dozen agents looking like the sunglassed jarheads in The Matrix. How is this possible? Not only is the NSA watching for certain key words, but multi-national companies which support Romney are collecting personal data on you in order to determine which ads you’ll see, and which you won’t. In fact, the interest rate you’re offered on things depends on which websites you’ve visited, because shopping and payment data has previously been collected on people who visit those sites. In addition to Facebook and Google, many other social sites sell ad space to corporations based on personal data that you’ve imputed, including WordPress. Try clicking on any post here and you’ll see a video ad from WordPress, and it could be linked to some key word picked up by that post. (One example that made the news was Orbitz, caught showing people with Macs higher priced rooms because Mac users track as generally more affluent…and their computers know what kind of computer you’re using.) Paranoid yet?
    Lots of movies talk about THEM, and people use the phrase “THEY SAY” a lot, while the military (and many coaches) hammer us with the philosophy of US vs. THEM (so their own pensions are secure.) So…are you now on a watch list in case you ever try to attend a Presidential fundraiser, just for clicking on this post? Well, probably not. But I might be. Of course I won’t be attending any Presidential fundraisers to find out, unless Dr. Phil runs for President as an independent (with the ability to send anyone in Congress or the Senate for psychiatric evaluation…or into rehab with Lindsay Lohan.)
    In the book I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I SAW WHAT YOU DID author Lori Andrews investigates the extent of cyber eavesdropping done by THEM, and it’s extensive. Essentially, we’re headed toward a society without secrets. Before long it’ll be like that SF movie Minority Report, where Tom Cruise runs down an airport hallway that scans his retina and displays ads relevant to him as he runs by. Spooky. Add to this the fact that criminals can hack into data collection agencies and then steal your identity, plus reports in the book iDISORDER that smart phone and social network addictions are epidemic, (and can lead to schizoid or narcissistic behavior, eye problems, and alienation.) What we have is a perfect storm of dysfunctional voters being led like sheep to the polls for a financial shearing. Then there’s the book THE FILTER BUBBLE, in which we also learn (as with Lori’s book) that even the news you get depends on your likes (in turn controlled by the media.) So if, say, you’re a big sports fan you’ll get sports stories displayed before anything else, and you won’t see other things happening in the world (especially if you don’t read books) because there’s only so much time. It’s like a giant feedback loop: THEY give you what you want, after THEY tell you what you should want. And then you don’t care about other stuff. …AND THEN THEY GOT YOU BY THE…well, you get the picture.

Conservatives Live In Isaac Newton’s Era

The following are Cliff’s Cliff’s notes on a book you may not have time to read.  Cliff Jr. is Cliff’s Sr.’s son, a young punk who told his father to summarize his notebooks so he can get back to trolling friends on Facebook.  Today’s edition is THE REPUBLICAN BRAIN by Chris Mooney. Conclusions drawn from the book:
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1)  Less than 6% of scientists identify themselves as Republicans.  Conservatives have a much stronger tendency to deny widely accepted scientific facts and theories.  They are less likely to change their opinions when new evidence is shown, and instead attempt to explain things away using methods that violate the laws of logic and reason (superstition, irrelevant exceptions, name-calling: “You $%&ing Pinko Demon Seed!”)
2)  Conservative Republicans claim the word “theory” is a nebulous smokescreen used by scientists who haven’t a clue what they’re talking about, (implying that, therefore, all theories are in an equal camp, equivalent with saying the moon is made of green cheese.)  To them a “theory” is an “hypothesis” or a fanciful and ridiculous work of the imagination, and not a “rigorously determined analysis of empirical data and observation, which has not been refuted” as scientists define the word.  FootinmouthNote:  A scientific theory to real scientists is closer to a law than to a hypothesis. (ie. quantum theory, atomic theory, cell theory, heliocentric theory: the theory that the Earth orbits the sun.)  Proving that evolution is incorrect or that the Earth is 6000 years old or that the Big Bang never happened or that global warming is a myth or that the moon is made of green cheese would therefore win you a NOBEL PRIZE.  Please do it, if possible!  Scientists would certainly like to, as they love money and fame too.  (Alas, their fellows also have microscopes and telescopes, while they have to utilize the scientific method and not the entrails of birds.)
3)  Both Republicans and Democrats are biased, but in different ways (it’s a left brain/right brain thing) depending on which programs benefit them the most (it’s all about bringing home the bacon…or the tofu.)  For a list of liberal biases (plus conservative ones) you’ll have to read the book.
Conclusion:  the general public (ie. TV addicts) believe what they want to believe.  Scientists, however, are forced to conform to observable and testable facts, or be dismissed/ridiculed by their colleagues:  “What are you, a Benny Hinn usher?”  For radical Islamic factions, there is the belief in a paradise of virgins awaiting you if you kill Americans (regardless of party affiliation.)  For Scientologists the belief involves reincarnation, ancient alien thetans, giant space arks, and auditing sessions wherein your brain is “cleared” of the scientific method.  In Benny HInn’s company, it’s more about signing a release form, pretending to be healed of blindness, and working your way up the ladder from moped to Mercedes by washing and servicing his jet.  For most everyone else, there’s UFOs, Big Foot, ghosts, Nessie, and the belief in a free lunch.

Tea Party Brain