Flash Frozen Supermodels?

As Tyra Banks knows all too well, supermodels and wannabes on her show America’s Next Top Model come in two categories: really smart and really, really dumb.  More evidence of this disparity came to light today as several supermodels are reportedly opting for early cryogenic stasis as a means to alleviate mental stress from worrying about whether they’ll ever be famous or get a modeling contract. Already dozens of “perfectly gorgeous and healthy young women” have signed waivers and entered into a highly experimental program in Mexico City that involves chemically induced coma followed by deep freezing.  Explains Dr. Gustavo Mendoza, “Until a former Miss California showed up, we assumed we’d only get extremely short, deformed game show rejects with hopes to reemerge when the world wasn’t so biased against them, due to television advertising.  But we have yet to get anyone who isn’t at least a nine.  Their idea is that when they awaken, the world will be safer, cleaner, and with far fewer ugly people screwing things up.  We tried to warn them in the contract that more than likely the world will resemble the Planet of the Apes instead, and that THEY are the ones who will then be considered ugly, like that Twilight Zone episode.  But they didn’t seem to notice this warning, either because the print was too small, or because they couldn’t read anything not printed on glossy paper.”