What the IRS Will Do With Their LOTTERY Winnings

The More You Spend, The More You Save!

Let’s assume the lucky winners pay the 35 percent top federal income tax rate, and a five percent state income tax rate. That’s $161.7 million for the Internal Revenue Service.  What will they do with this windfall?  Why, spend it, of course!
.
“I think I’ll buy a plane, or a new boat,” said General Milton Bradley, standing on the deck of the aircraft carrier The SS George W. Bush.  “But not this boat or any of these planes, of course.  Not enough money.  …Oh, wait, come to think of it I couldn’t buy a new jet like these, either, because the R&D to create one would be nine times the total jackpot, pre-tax.  And that’s just for blueprints.  Maybe. . . maybe a new type of smart bomb would be appropriate!  …Oh, wait…”
.
“I think we need a new bridge to Nowhere, Kansas,” said Senator Mark Ears of Kansas, “to connect it with the town of Dustbowl.”
.
“We’ve already made commitments to certain people in midtown Manhattan, and we need to keep our promises to them in this ongoing process,” said Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, getting a thumbs up from former lobbyist Jack Abramoff on his book tour after release from prison.
.
“The money would be a great boost for our study of intelligent life on the third planet from the sun,” said NASA spokesperson Wally Wowsy, getting a high five from Dr. Richey Jetpack, who proposes a three trillion dollar expedition to the fourth planet to find a new source of drinking water for plastic packaging.
.
“We need to utilize our declining engineering expertise to increase the manufacturing quality of U.S. products worldwide,” said Congressman Chuck ‘Free Trade’ Screwmour, “by building better condoms, cigarettes, and bottled sugar water.”
.
“We should use the money to stimulate the economy before next Fall,” said Obama.
.
“We should give the money to the rich, because they deserve it,” said Paul Ryan.
.
“Oh wait,” said Claire DeLuny, secretary/receptionist at the GAO, “that money has already been spent, and nobody knows where it went.”

.

“Oh wow,” said Steve Jobs.