The Official Gang Graffiti Field Guide

The Official Gang Graffiti Field Guide
only 51 Cents
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Welcome to the urban jungle, alive with all kinds of predators.
To avoid becoming the prey, you should know how to read the spoor.
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Far from becoming endangered, new species of taggers come into existence daily via mutation (abuse) or spontaneous generation (illegitimate birth).   So gang graffiti has now spread to suburbia and beyond.  In this ever-widening habitat, it is important to recognize the dangers of provoking any established or even unrecognized gang member—whose initiation may be to attack your car, drag you screaming into the street, and then paint your face red while shouting, “Here’s the bank robber!”  So be careful out there.  And if you do manage to “bag”(photograph} 60% or more of the spoor in this guide by following the tips on where to look for the signs, mail proofs to the National Association for Gang Graffiti Sightings (NAGGS) at the Chrysler Building, and request an application to become an official “Nagger Tagger Bagger.”  Good luck.
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Amazon Preview:  Graffiti Signs, with interpretations:
{Crossing out of signs and painting over}  “Supersedes all previous notices.”
{Squiggle, arrow, and number 10}  “Crack sold here;  $10 bags.”
{Bowling pin with initials inside and crown}  “Vote____ for gang kingpin.”
{Stop Me Before I Kill Again}  “Pitiful attempt at gang humor.”
{Block drawing/painting}  Cubist graffiti interpretation of “Nude biker girls descending a staircase.”
{ZET}  “Zeta Epsilon Theta:  a college fraternity member had some leftover spray paint after completing a bookcase.”
{YO}  “Your attention please.”
{V-shaped glass with straw}  “My values suck.”
{Tagger initials sprouting TV antenna}  “Television made me do it.”
{“I’m going to marry Stanley Kubrick’s niece at the cemetery.”}  Author/tagger wanted to write a line that had never before been written.
{™K25#}  “My mom will buy paint spray for you at K Mart for a 25% cut above retail.”
{L3+}   “You must have completed level 3 acts {and above} in order to apply for initiation into the gang in this ‘hood.”
        Level 1}  Equivalent to when someone cuts in line.
        Level 2}  Equivalent to when someone cuts {gas} in line.
        Level 3}  Equivalent to when someone cuts {knife} in line.
{School laid waste cartoon; 2 parents in picture}  “Well, at least we didn’t waste
time teaching Billy a bunch of morals.”
{Punk with knife and wearing a gas mask holds up lady with mace}  “Fire away.”
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Joke Sample:
What did the gangster on death row order from Gordon Ramsay at his last meal service?  “Pickled Siberian ostrich eggs, please.  Over easy.”
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Trivia Sample:
Gun Quotient (definition):  The ratio of the time that someone in a movie is holding a gun relative to the total run time of the movie.  The higher the ratio, the less likely the scriptwriter has any imagination.

“Hey, I can’t help it if Coke wants to give me money for coke.”

P. Diddy recruited by NSA to do undercover work.