Quentin Tarantino’s New Cookbook

cookbook

“Wow, what a cool recipe!”

From Dusk to Dawn Sandwich
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Here’s Quentin’s twist on the Elvis Sandwich. It’s for zombies who for some insane reason known only to screenwriters refuse to eat anything but living humans (particularly scantily clad buxom females.) Quentin has promised that if you present this sandwich to any zombies you encounter, they will leave you alone. He’s also promised to test it on the show The Walking Dead but shooting himself in the head with a prop pistol. Someone please call his agent and make sure he doesn’t do this, as blanks can kill at close range…and we need to see Django Chained (the prequel.)  
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Ingredients:
3 Bananas
1 Italian Roll
1 Stick Butter
1/2 Lb. M&Ms
1 Cup Skippy (Smooth)
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Quentin TarantinoMelt butter and marinate Italian roll in it from dusk to dawn. In the morning nuke bananas in their skins for four minutes on low. Next, mix M&Ms and peanut butter in a plastic bowl and nuke for five minutes on high. Peel bananas and slice lengthwise in half with a Katana, then nestle them in roll. Pour Skippy/M&M mixture over bananas. Bind roll with baking twine and sauté in pan until crisp. Remove roll and seal in plastic baggy. Bury in back yard. After three more dusks, dig up roll and nuke for three minutes on high. Bon appetit, zombies. Don’t leave the building without the mix tape we’ve created for you, including the songs Love Me Tender, A Little Less Conversation, Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear, Stuck on You, and Burning Love.

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About J. Lowe

Novelist, journalist, editor of Tower Review.

Posted on March 5, 2013, in Books and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a Comment.

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